literature

Long Way Down pt 8 Final

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I woke up from my magnificent dream staring at a white ceiling. I laid there for a bit, trying to figure out where I was. My torso was wrapped in bandages, one arm was in a sling, the other had something stuck in it, and there was a tube shoved up my fine ass. I knew this sensation, I was in a hospital, even though The Computer Guy said we weren't going there. Someone was munching on something, so I turned my head to tell them to stop eating so loudly. It was David, eating away at some saltine crackers.

"Eh," he said and smiled, pretty as usual.
"What happened," I asked.

I shouldn't of, he'll never answer me. He ignored me and went back to eat another cracker. I looked to the other side, and saw an Audino with a nurse's hat on with an orange cross on it. "GWAH," I shouted in surprise. I flailed my arms around and got up into a sitting position. "Audino." It turned around and left. David started giggling. I wasn't in the mood to beat the crap out of him. Instead, I glared at him, trying to burn a hole in his soul.

"Ah, you're awake now, Jack," someone said.
"No shit," I said, turning around.
It was a Nurse Joy wearing a matching cap as the Audino.
"Erm, how long have I been out for," I continued.
"Only about a day," The Nurse Joy said, taking my pulse even though she could of just looked at the heart rate monitor screen, "Your friends said they couldn't take you to a real hospital since it's too risky. I'm really grateful to you guys for saving my Audino, so I let you in. I...don't know much about the human body, so I let your friend Jhon use whatever he needed to help you. Really, thank you. You don't know how grateful I really am."
"I don't care how grateful you are, take this damn tube out of my butt," I growled in appreciation for doing a good deed.
David stood up and left the room. I don't think he wanted to see what was going to happen next.

Later on, I told the Nurse Joy to tell my friends that I wanted to be left alone for a bit. I stared outside and could see the Ferrari Insurance company building in the distance. We'll all recover from the event from yesterday one day, I'm sure about it. I stared and daydreamed about it. I'm sure Mr. Ferrari will find a way to live. He'll stand at the top of his empire, and continue to fight for what he feels is right. I think it's changed since he met us. Or at least I hope so. If he keeps killing people who break the law, he truly won't change and hold a grudge against us for being one of those law breakers. He may try to kill us too, but who knows? Jamie believes bad guys can change, and that belief has rubbed off on me. It happened to James, Eddy Flynn from 80's Sunglasses Gang, and some dude from dad's side of the family who started bringing trouble around. I hope Mr. Ferrari is smart enough to learn from his mistakes. Only a strong person can do that. Weak people don't learn.

I called mi Abuela sometime after the sun had set and told her about my recent adventure. She scolded me for getting hurt, but I couldn't tell her I couldn't help it. She'll come over and start hitting me in my poor shoulder with her cane until I bleed or started crying. "Si, Abuela," I was forced to agree. Then she started talking about my Grandpa and how much of a bitter old man he is. Then she started talking about some soap opera that I've never heard of before.

"Erm, Aubela," I said, trying to get her to stop talking, "I've gotta go now. I'll visit you soon. Make me some of your famous menudo when I get there, okay?"
"Oh, Jackie, always thinking with you're stomach," she continued like I haven't said goodbye yet, "Just like your Papa-"
I put the phone down. She'll talk forever if someone would let her. I couldn't even tell her not to call me "Jackie." That'll just bring up another conversation.

The thought of menudo made me hungry. I searched my bedside for crackers, but all I found were wrappers. Dammit, David ate all of them. I couldn't leave my bed, so I had to deal with my stomach growling until The Computer Guy poked his head into my room.

"Are you allowing visitors yet," he asked, shyly.
"Only if you bring me food."
He came in, anyway. "Give me money, and I'll get you some."
"Either bring me food or get out," I ordered.
TCG ran out of the door.

He came back later with a bunch of packages of chips.
"I got you, like, a whole row of chips," he said and dumped his armful of chips into my lap.
"Excellent," I said and opened a bag.
He put a hand to his side, slowly sat down next to me and stared at the floor.
"You can have one," I said.
"Thanks, but I just ate," TCG said.
I just shrugged and helped myself.
He looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't bring himself to say it.
After I plowed through three more bags, he finally spoke.
"How you're feeling," he asked.
"I'm on meds," I said, "I don't feel anything."
"That's nice. I got off lucky considering getting shot. It hurts like a bitch trying to get up and sit down. Forget about trying to lie down.  I had to have stitches."
"That sucks," I said, licking my fingers.
"Yesterday was nuts, wasn't it? I didn't think we were going to get out alive."
"We've been through worse."
"I guess. But literally, if it weren't for you Jack, I'd be dead."
I turned to him. He was still looking at the ground, playing with his watch strap.
"So, uh...Thank you Jack. Thanks alot."
He looked up at me.

He never says "Thank you." He doesn't because he thinks it means more when he does say it.

I blushed. "Erm, I can't let you die, y'know. You're a friend of mine."
He smiled and slowly stood up. "Damn that hurts," he said, "I'm gonna go now, let the others visit you and stuff."

TCG got to the door when Jamie bursted through it, almost running into him.
"Sorry, TCG," Jamie apologized.
"Don't worry about it," TCG said, going back to being snarky, "You ain't no physic type."
Jamie watched him leave then sat down next to me and grabbed a bag of chips.
"Hey, those are my chips," I said.
"Chips aren't very good for you, Jack."
"Then don't look so happy eating them."
"Hey, I'm saving you from obesity."
"If you're going to save someone from obesity, then go save Seviper."
"If a mixture of Jewish and Cilan's cooking can't save Seviper, then nothing will."
"So you gave up on him?"
"More or less. Unless he starts working out with you and I, it's helpless."
This guy...
"So, anyway, how's it going," he said, finishing off his bag.
"Just randy," I said as he threw the empty bag onto my pile of empty bags, "Go tell the others that so they'll stop asking."
"Yesh, someone's in a bad mood."
Well, since I kinda almost died.
"Oh, oh, and I saw Mr. Ferrari in the hospital."
"Why would you go visit him," I had to ask, "He almost killed you."
"I don't hold a grudge against him, he was just protecting his property."
"Better yet, how'd you get in?"
"I told his body guards I was a friend of the family. How much do you wanna bet, I won't get in a second time? Anyways, the nurse said they're keeping him unconscious for a while. She was pretty hot. I'd totally do her. Oh, right, back on topic, they're not ready for him freaking out about losing an arm just yet. Such a shame too, I wanted to talk to him about becoming a good guy and stuff."
"Do you really think he's capable of doing it?"
"I was going to scare him into being a good guy."
That got a laugh out of me. "You're not very scary. You're just about as scary as Si is."
"I dunno, Si can be pretty scary when he wants to. And you know he's going to start yelling at you for scaring him to death."
"I ain't afraid of him. I can take him."
"After how he was when we was captured, I don't think so. He'll give you the ol' one, two! Damn, he was really awesome, wasn't he? Maybe he can give me some lessons."
"H-hey!"
I was insulted. I'm the hitter of the group after all.
"I know you spend a lot of time trying to teach me things, Jack, but Si's a pretty good fighter too."

Jamie kept talking long after visiting hours were over. The others tried to get him out of my room so I could sleep, but he kept on saying, "Hold on. I'm not done yet!" I tried to turn my back on him and go to sleep. Guess how well that went. Eventually, I had to kick him out myself in order to get some shut eye. The next morning, I was getting dressed, or at least trying to, when Jamie walked in on me.

"JAMIE!"
"Wow...you're muscular..."
I threw the vomit tin at him. "I'm trying to get dressed here! We can't stay here forever, Mr. Ferrari's goons are after us, remember?"
Jamie looked insulted. "Well, duh. We kinda did steal some things. That was fun, though, wasn't it?"
"GET OUT," I bellowed at him.

He left while I tried to put on my shirt. After I got ready, and came out to the main lobby of the Pokemon Center, my friends were all waiting for me there. Tommy ran up to me and wrapped his arms around my leg. "Jackie," he said with a big, adorable grin on his face. I had to restrain the urge to punch him.

"Let's get out of here," I said, "This is one city I'd be glad to never see again."

James nodded and said, "Okay then, let's roll out, boys." We passed by the worlds tallest building on the way out of town. The were people cleaning up debris from the two walkways that collapsed. I wasn't really paying attention to that, I was looking up at it through the window of our RV. I couldn't see very far up there, but I knew just how massive the building was, I was in there. I suddenly felt a sense of pride. I went from the very top all the way to the bottom while being injured and fighting my way down. It was like one of those dreams where you keep trying to go somewhere, but you just don't end up going anywhere. The fact that I lived through all of that made me...oh, I don't know how to describe it. I guess it made me feel happy inside.

Through time, the gang ended up calling the world's tallest building "180 Floors of Terror." And I guess Jamie was right, it was kinda fun in hindsight.
Jamie sure eats quickly.

So, here it is, my first completed story. SOMEONE PLEASE SAY SOMETHING!

I'm terrible at endings, so I could use a few words of critique on it.

The next story is going to be about a guy who doesn't give people chances and the reason why.

And please no downloading. You can read it here, there's no reason to.

[link] Check here for the rest of the story!
© 2011 - 2024 TheBlackBullets
Comments6
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cannykins's avatar
As with the others, structure, spelling and dialog could use some sprucing up. There are a few things that bother me a bit, but it could just be my preference on style.

Also it would be best to make sure your spelling is correct, and the work doesn't have too much slang, else it can take away from the actual work
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I called my Abuela sometime after the sun had set and told her about my recent adventure. She scolded me for getting hurt, but I couldn't tell her; I couldn't help it. She'll come over and start hitting me in my poor shoulder with her cane until I bleed or started crying.

"Si, Abuela," I was forced to agree.

-> Then she started talking about my Grandpa and how much of a bitter old man he is. Then she started talking about some soap opera that I've never heard of before.

Passages like these feel like ramblings to me.

Then she started talking about my Grandpa, then a soap opera. I had to cut her off.

Something to that effect may sound better. Sometimes short is sweeter.

I hope this helps!